Valerie and Muriel

I just thought I'd better clear summat up.

I've had a few queries asking why I mention my wife, Valerie, in an interview I gave last year, but this year, the wife's name seems to have changed to Muriel.

It's very simple. In the interview I was telling a story from years back about my ex-missus, Valerie. People who have seen me on stage recently will know that Valerie and I got divorced. She buggered off following my spiritual awakening.

I think what finally did it was when I cancelled the cruise to Jamaica and booked us onto a 3-day festival of pagan ritual.

It was a very acrimonious divorce. We had a divorce hearing and everything. The courtroom was like a game show. Valerie won the star prize - a house and a car. I won the luggage.

My current wife, Muriel is much more spiritual that Valerie. She also shares my love of swing music. In fact, we are are probably two of the best-known swingers in the North West.

Hope that clears it up.